“When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.”
Confidence. That one word that everyone agrees is so sexy, so vital for success, so important to possess if you want to be happy. If it is so great, why is it so easy to lose? More importantly, why are we not immediately working for a solution to regain confidence once lost?
When we lack confidence we fear failure, we walk on eggshells. When we are confident, nothing can hold us back. While one cannot always stay at peak confidence levels (everyone has their own insecurities), most of us can do a much better job at addressing the issue at hand.
We all need to take control of our self-confidence. No single person or event should dictate how good you feel about yourself. If you are low in self-confidence, I strongly believe there are things you can do, both short-term and long-term, to increase your self-confidence. It is not genetic, and you do not need to rely on others for you. YOU and only you know what is right.
Below are 22 habits and activities you can do to take control of you self-confidence. There are some items on the list that take 30 seconds and some that take months. Pick and choose some that you find appealing and try it out:
Say Positive Affirmations
Every day when you wake up, repeat to yourself who you are and want you want to become. This can be as simple as waking up every day and looking at yourself in the mirror and repeating “I love myself” or “I am a f@#$king badass!”. This will flood your brain with positive thoughts, building the muscles up for your confident voice.
When practicing meditation, you become much more aware of the noise in your head while ultimately learning to see the noise as nonsense. Your negative thoughts and self-talk are an extension of your thoughts, but they do not define who YOU truly are. Meditation helps to disassociate with the negative thoughts
This is the “look good, feel good” action. Next time you have a big meeting or go out on a date, wear your favorite outfit. Make sure not to spend too much time staring at yourself in the mirror though, as dressing nicely can sure boost your confidence.
Change your hairstyle
Sometimes you need a physical refresh, and nothing provides more immediate gratification for that than changing your hairstyle. If well deliberated, a new style bodes well with the opposite sex and can be a confidence booster in social situations.
Join a workout group
By joining a workout group like CrossFit, MMA training, or boxing, you immediately have an entire community of people to push you past your limits that your negative self-talk previously held you back to. Not only will you be releasing more endorphins throughout the workout, you will for sure create a better physique along the way.
Find a workout buddy
If group fitness is not your thing, find a friend that you can work out with on a regular basis that will constantly be pushing you and holding you accountable. A workout partner can do wonders for your fitness, especially on the days you are really feeling in the dumps.
Join Toastmasters or Improv
One of the biggest indicators of lacking self-confidence is the fear to take risks, or to be looked poorly at in the process. What better way to put yourself out there than getting up in front of strangers and speaking
If you are reading this blog post, chances are you are better off than 99% of the world. Volunteering is not only good for those who are on the receiving end as studies have shown that charitable work can significantly increase your fulfillment in life.
Start a secondary source of income
Write a blog, drive for Uber, sell a product on Etsy. There are countless options out there. Knowing that you have what it takes to make money on your own without an employer can really drive self-confidence. Plus, seeing the extra money in your bank account always helps.
Step one is always the hardest. Create a BlueHost account to start blogging for only $3.95!
Set a small goal
Set a small goal in one area that will be beneficial to your life. This goal should be a stretch goal, but absolutely attainable. Do whatever it takes to accomplish it. Not only will you feel great reward when you hit the milestone, but you are sure to learn something about yourself on the way.
Start by writing down your goals in the Finding Balance Workbook
Start a healthy eating habit
Spend some time researching the best dietary plan for you, and stick to it 100%. This does not need to be the Whole-30 Diet or The South Beach Diet, just eating habits that will improve your health, make your mind work faster, and your body look better. The rewards from healthy eating will go a long way in boosting self-confidence.
Start a gratitude journal
Practice gratitude every day when you wake up in the morning by using a gratitude journal like The Five Minute Journal. Studies show that a daily gratitude practice can lead to high levels of positive emotion and less feelings of loneliness and isolation.
We are a huge fan of The Five Minute Journal
Try Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)
Cognitive Behavior Therapy is a short-term, goal-oriented psychotherapy treatment that takes a hands-on, practical approach to problem solving. Its goal is to change patterns of thinking that are behind people’s difficulties, which in turn change the way they feel. In other words, CBT helps address the negative self talk in your head and create a constructive strategy to ignore it.
Go Sober for a month (or weekend)
Depending on your stage in life, drinking may be a very prevalent occurrence. Although I believe that social drinking can be beneficial in the happiness of your life, it can quickly become derogative to your quality of life. Alcohol is a depressant, which means it can disrupt the balance in our lives, affecting our thoughts, feelings, and actions if overdone. Taking sometime off could do wonders to your confidence.
Take a cold shower
Hop in the shower when you need a little pep in your step and make sure it is COLD! Taking a cold shower is said to increase alertness, improve immunity, ease stress and improve emotional resilience. It may sound terrible, but taking a cold shower will light a fire under you to go conquer the world.
Call your shot like the Great Bambino
Create an extremely lofty goal for yourself, and make sure people know about it. The more social awareness there is, the more motivated you will find yourself to achieve the goal. Along the way, you will find that you are more capable than you thought you could be.
Start by writing down your goals in the Finding Balance Workbook
Plan a trip with your best friends
Call up a few of your best friends and take a trip with them. The destination is not what matters; it is all about the people you are with. After a weekend away, you should leave feeling more connected and this usually gives you a big dose of perspective.
Play some pump-up tunes
Throw on your headphones and play some music that gets the blood flowing with some confident attitude. Rap and Hip-hop usually does the trick.
Check out this list or just throw on 50’s Get Rich or Die Trying.
Watch a motivational video/speech
Spend 10 to 15 minutes watching a motivational video or speech that inspires you. There are some brilliantly made motivational videos online that usually bring so much fire to me, I am ready to conquer anything.
The Psychology of High Achievers is a personal favorite.
Fix your posture
Stand up straight for some serious benefits aside from preventing lower back problems. Research shows that when we exercise good posture, we tend to have a little more self-esteem and believe in our own assets more than when we’re slouching. It is also known to improve your mood and breathing, and make you look more powerful.
Stop building yourself up at the expense of others
When working to build your confidence, make sure you are not doing this at the expense of other people. Your confidence will only perpetuate in a negative way by doing so.
Create a morning routine
As discussed in our post on how to get out of a rut, a strong morning routine can do miracles to the way you feel in the morning. You will be much more alert, grounded, and energetic by doing so, which can all boost the way you feel about yourself.